Trucking Along

As I finish my last bite of a freshly toasted onion bagel, dripping of over easy egg, I process what I had read this late morning.  And what is playing through my Spotify this rainy Thursday, which is of course throwback jams.  Bear with me because this gets a little sidetracked and out-of-the-box.  In reading of someone else’s past history and how she easily started a new chapter in New York, I felt inspired to write.  Only it wasn’t a chapter, it was a new reality this girl had manifested in a brand new city.

It got me thinking that each chapter of mine hasn’t felt like a chapter but rather several new lives.  Some shorter than others.  Some happier than others.  Some where I had to pinch myself that this was my reality.  Have you had the same thought?  Instead of nine chapters, you’ve had nine lives so far or less.  I always thought of myself as a bird rather than a cat.  A free spirit that migrates to something opposite when bored or caged in.  But a bird doesn’t have several lives, a cat does.  So essentially, I’ve been manifesting my destiny as a feline.  Creating a new one with every action, reaction, and occurrence.

What does this have to do with you and Throwback Thursday, you must be thinking.  It’s about reflecting on more than just the picture you’re posting to Instagram but realizing the reason why it is a past life.  And this rant is to provide insight when to not post throwback memories.  If you’re not in the right headspace to do so, a red flag will appear.  And will continue to wave along unnoticed every time you see that picture posted in your profile.  This is coming from a place of reminiscing and often longing to repeat the past.  Living in a fantasy and not it’s reality.  And that’s when throwing back, sets me back.  Because there’s a reason that isn’t my present life anymore.

Something happened that led you to your next life.  A job gained, a loved one lost, a mountainous or minuscule move to set your new fate.  Factors as vague or specific as this have maybe created your new present or life as it is.  Or maybe it was a swift decision that changed it all.  Point is, once you accept it was and had to be a past life, you’re now in the right head space.  So sure, post the photo if you want.  And go about your day.

Maybe it’s not a photograph, maybe listening to old jams make you feel that way.  Actually I know so.  Many throwback jams remind us of parties we celebrated, music videos still imprinted in our minds, songs we danced to.  Slow and fast.  Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring.  But how does it really make you feel afterwards and during?  An hour later.  Several hours later.  If the answer is wanting more or melancholy then there’s another red flag.  You’re offcourse and jaded.  Things had to change because that’s the scientology of evolution.  Wrong term?—how about the theory of.  What I am getting at is—having the past on repeat will create more potholes in your road.  So maybe you should change the playlist you’re listening to.

Maybe we’re discontent with our present and want to be transported back to a lighter-hearted time.  A more vibrant time.  Maybe it was a vacation you hold so dear to your heart.  Your most recent one.  Can you accept that you couldn’t stay even if you wanted?  Can you agree that even revisiting that same exact spot wouldn’t be the same the next time?  Maybe the weather will be testy and will rain your entire trip, waves will swallow you into the ocean, or a bird lands on your head photobombing your capture.  Or maybe it exceeds the last one.  Like night and day.  Point is, that photographic memory was and will always be a moment.  If you’re good with that, post your picture.

This rant is about staying true to your mood and inner peace.  Maybe we’re going through a standing still and need to be reminded of when we were ‘living the dream.’  Whatever your dream was.  But that’s a dangerous place to be in.  We forget how a picture portrays what we want it to.  And how a caption can amplify that.  We forget that something changed because it had to.  Maybe things weren’t as perfect as we remember.  Relationships were tainted or misunderstood.  Maybe we weren’t who we thought we were to others.  Because us as felines humans evolve with time too.  You remember that now?  Okay then healthily add a caption and boom it’s a throwback we miss all too much.

Processed with VSCO with v5 preset
PHOTOS FROM MY ROAD TRIP GALLERY

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